Beanpie – Volume 1 Episode 2: Squeaky Clean

Mar 28, 2009 (11:22 AM)

Beanpie – Volume 1 Episode 2: Squeaky Clean *Beanpie is at the local Dollar store trying to find some clear bottles. He walks over to a clerk to ask for some help Beanpie: Excuse me, can you tell me where I might find some empty bottles? Clerk: What kind of bottles? Beanpie: Plastic bottles Clerk: What kind of plastic bottles? Beanpie: Tall clear plastic bottles Clerk: What are you using these bottles for sir? Beanpie: I am going to be selling soap in them. *Clerk breaks out in outrageous laughter Clerk: You are gonna sell soap? Beanpie: Yes, and pretty soon you’ll see my soap everywhere. And if you act right young lady, I may take you to the top with me Clerk: Yeah right, we’ll be on the top of idiots most wanted. Beanpie: Whatever, can you tell me where they are? Clerk: In aisle 5. Beanpie: Thanks……(mumbles) slut *Beanpie looks at a bunch of bottles and then grabs about 20 normal sized bottles, and heads to the register Clerk 2: What are you gonna do with all of these bottles? Beanpie: Ah yes, I am going to be selling my own dishwashing liquid. Clerk 2: That sounds good, how much you gonna charge a bottle? Beanpie: About $4 Clerk 2: What? Is it all natural? Beanpie: No Clerk 2: Is it scented? Beanpie: No Clerk 2: Does it soften your hands? Beanpie: Ah, no Clerk 2: And you’re selling this for $4 Beanpie: Yes I am Clerk 2: What is so special about this soap? Beanpie: Well, I made it by hand Clerk 2: And…. Beanpie: And what? Clerk 2: (Laughing) Keep the receipt so you can get your money back. Beanpie: What’s so funny? Clerk 2: You are selling homemade soap, with no added features for $4 a bottle, that’s what’s funny. *Beanpie grabs the bottles and storms off. *Beanpie is walking back to his house with a duffle bag full of empty bottles when he sees Ice Juicy Beanpie: Hey Ice Juicy, my man, what’s the deal govy? Shaun: My name is Shaun Beanpie: I know, but Ice Juicy has so much more flavor mate Shaun: It sounds like a pedophile disguised as an Ice Cream salesman Beanpie: Whatever govy. I got a spankin new sham, want in on it? Shaun: You have the most idiotic schemes, and NO, I don’t want in on this nonsense. Beanpie: You haven’t even heard what it is. Shaun: Lemme guess. You have a bag full of empty bottles…..hmmm…you’re hustling stupid by the ounce. Beanpie: Haha, very funny mate. Now, what you see before you is a state of the art, new millennium, dish washing liquid dispenser. Shaun: All I see are bottles Beanpie: I made a homemade soap govy. Shaun: And how much are you selling this bull…..I mean soap for? Beanpie: $4 a bottle Shaun: What? Is it all natural? Beanpie: No Shaun: Is it scented? Beanpie: No Shaun: Does it soften your hands? Beanpie: Ah, no Shaun: And you’re selling this for $4 Beanpie: Yes I am Shaun (shaking his head) : I don’t think this is gonna work out at all Beanpie: What do you mean? This is the perfect sham Shaun: The only thing that is gonna be cleaned is your wallet. Beanpie: I’ll let you think on that one. I’ll get back to you later, I’ve gotta go bottle this stuff up. Shaun (Walking away): Whatever, take it easy Beanpie: Peace Ice Juicy Shaun (Yells): My name is Shaun

The Adventures of Beanpie: Volume 1 Episode 1

Beanpie – Volume 1 Episode 1: Squeaky Clean

*Beanpie is laying in bed thinking about a new sham to make some easy money. He is a self proclaimed hustler in the suburbs of Connecticut. In his mind he is the ultimate hustler.

Beanpie (to self): Alright govy, today is the day you make it big. You’ve come too far to stop. After today’s sham everybody will know this name, BEANPIE!

*Beanpie is in the bathroom singing and mixing a solution in the bathtub when his little brother Tailgate comes into the room.

Tailgate: Move I have to pee.
Beanpie: Just go, I’m no meat gazer govy. Plus you have a malnourished tallywacker. I heard NASA put the Hubble Telescope into orbit just to try and find it.
Tailgate: Shutup!

*Tailgate starts peeing

Tailgate: What are you doin?
Beanpie: If you must know, I’ve come up with the ultimate sham
Tailgate: Why don’t you just get a job?
Beanpie: Listen mate, Beanpie works for no one. I’m a business man, besides you can’t look this good and not work for yourself.

*Tailgate finishes, turns around, and puts his hand on BP’s shoulder

Tailgate: So, what are you making?

*BP jumps up and pushes Tailgate’s hands off of him

Beanpie: You nasty little bugger! Get those little pee pee sausages off of me and wash your hands.
Tailgate: Sorry! Always Mr. Sensitive. Sometimes I wonder if you’re my big brother or my big sister.
Beanpie: Whatever govy. What we have here is a solvent that will knock the dirt right off of any dish.
Tailgate: You’re gonna bootleg dish washing liquid?
Beanpie: That’s the idea
Tailgate: So, you’re gonna hustle soap?
Beanpie: I said yes
Tailgate: Wait a minute, this from a guy they called “Deputy Dirt” in the high school yearbook?

Beanpie: Shut up and get out!!!
Tailgate (singing): I washed the sheriff, but I did not clean the deputy.

*Tailgate runs out of the bathroom

Beanpie: Alright, now to get this soap off and running.

*Beanpie starts mixing this liquid and adding numerous things until finally he is finished.

Beanpie: Aha, now to get the bottles