Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Adventures of Beanpie: Volume 1 Episode 1

Beanpie – Volume 1 Episode 1: Squeaky Clean


*Beanpie is laying in bed thinking about a new sham to make some easy money. He is a self proclaimed hustler in the suburbs of Connecticut. In his mind he is the ultimate hustler.

Beanpie (to self): Alright govy, today is the day you make it big. You’ve come too far to stop. After today’s sham everybody will know this name, BEANPIE!

*Beanpie is in the bathroom singing and mixing a solution in the bathtub when his little brother Tailgate comes into the room.

Tailgate: Move I have to pee.
Beanpie: Just go, I’m no meat gazer govy. Plus you have a malnourished tallywacker. I heard NASA put the Hubble Telescope into orbit just to try and find it.
Tailgate: Shutup!

*Tailgate starts peeing

Tailgate: What are you doin?
Beanpie: If you must know, I’ve come up with the ultimate sham
Tailgate: Why don’t you just get a job?
Beanpie: Listen mate, Beanpie works for no one. I’m a business man, besides you can’t look this good and not work for yourself.

*Tailgate finishes, turns around, and puts his hand on BP’s shoulder

Tailgate: So, what are you making?

*BP jumps up and pushes Tailgate’s hands off of him

Beanpie: You nasty little bugger! Get those little pee pee sausages off of me and wash your hands.
Tailgate: Sorry! Always Mr. Sensitive. Sometimes I wonder if you’re my big brother or my big sister.
Beanpie: Whatever govy. What we have here is a solvent that will knock the dirt right off of any dish.
Tailgate: You’re gonna bootleg dish washing liquid?
Beanpie: That’s the idea
Tailgate: So, you’re gonna hustle soap?
Beanpie: I said yes
Tailgate: Wait a minute, this from a guy they called “Deputy Dirt” in the high school yearbook?

Beanpie: Shut up and get out!!!
Tailgate (singing): I washed the sheriff, but I did not clean the deputy.

*Tailgate runs out of the bathroom

Beanpie: Alright, now to get this soap off and running.

*Beanpie starts mixing this liquid and adding numerous things until finally he is finished.

Beanpie: Aha, now to get the bottles

4 comments:

  1. Mr B! How's it going?

    So happy to see Beanpie again :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Things are well, how are you? Do you do Facebook yet?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ahh, just saw this, sorry, I've been behind with catching up. Yep, got Facebook. You can find me at the email address you get this comment from.

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  4. Hello there...this is you know who brethren! MJJJJJ!!! found u! got u! locked into u! ...yea yea!

    This is quite a funny story..i think imma have to keep reading..

    ReplyDelete