Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Adventures of Beanpie: Volume 1 Episode 1

Beanpie – Volume 1 Episode 1: Squeaky Clean

*Beanpie is laying in bed thinking about a new sham to make some easy money. He is a self proclaimed hustler in the suburbs of Connecticut. In his mind he is the ultimate hustler.

Beanpie (to self): Alright govy, today is the day you make it big. You’ve come too far to stop. After today’s sham everybody will know this name, BEANPIE!

*Beanpie is in the bathroom singing and mixing a solution in the bathtub when his little brother Tailgate comes into the room.

Tailgate: Move I have to pee.
Beanpie: Just go, I’m no meat gazer govy. Plus you have a malnourished tallywacker. I heard NASA put the Hubble Telescope into orbit just to try and find it.
Tailgate: Shutup!

*Tailgate starts peeing

Tailgate: What are you doin?
Beanpie: If you must know, I’ve come up with the ultimate sham
Tailgate: Why don’t you just get a job?
Beanpie: Listen mate, Beanpie works for no one. I’m a business man, besides you can’t look this good and not work for yourself.

*Tailgate finishes, turns around, and puts his hand on BP’s shoulder

Tailgate: So, what are you making?

*BP jumps up and pushes Tailgate’s hands off of him

Beanpie: You nasty little bugger! Get those little pee pee sausages off of me and wash your hands.
Tailgate: Sorry! Always Mr. Sensitive. Sometimes I wonder if you’re my big brother or my big sister.
Beanpie: Whatever govy. What we have here is a solvent that will knock the dirt right off of any dish.
Tailgate: You’re gonna bootleg dish washing liquid?
Beanpie: That’s the idea
Tailgate: So, you’re gonna hustle soap?
Beanpie: I said yes
Tailgate: Wait a minute, this from a guy they called “Deputy Dirt” in the high school yearbook?

Beanpie: Shut up and get out!!!
Tailgate (singing): I washed the sheriff, but I did not clean the deputy.

*Tailgate runs out of the bathroom

Beanpie: Alright, now to get this soap off and running.

*Beanpie starts mixing this liquid and adding numerous things until finally he is finished.

Beanpie: Aha, now to get the bottles