Beanpie: Volume 2 Episode 2 - Tea Time

Beanpie: Volume 2 Episode 2 - Tea Time

Scene 4: Beanpie is at the store looking for plastic bags

Clerk 1: Hey, look it’s the soap man. How did the soap sell?

Beanpie: I don’t want to talk about it.

Clerk 1: I told you $4 a bottle was too much.

Beanpie: That was a deal for what I had to offer.

Clerk 1: I have no clue of what you’re smoking, but $4 for soap is a rip-off.

Beanpie: You’ve got to be taking a piss, that is a good price for a great product. Anyway love, do you have any plastic bags?

Clerk 1: Yeah, in aisle 5. What are you selling this time?

Beanpie: I am selling tea, I made it from fresh tea leaves.

Clerk 1: Is it flavored?

Beanpie: Nah, it’s just green tea imported from China.

Clerk 1: Who is gonna buy bootleg tea?

Beanpie: When I blow up off of this idea, and become as famous as Lipton, don’t ask me for any of this tea.

Clerk 1: Trust me I won’t ask you for it!

Beanpie: Well, I’ve got my bags, thank you very much………(mumbles) whore

*Beanpie leaves the store and heads back home to bag his tea up.

Scene 5: Beanpie is outside putting the tea into bags when he sees a car pull up

Officer: Hey boy, what are you doing?

Beanpie: I’m just putting these tea leaves into bags sir

Officer: Those don’t look like tea leaves to me

Beanpie: These are tea leaves officer.

Officer: I’m gonna have to take those to the station

Beanpie: These are tea leaves

Officer: Are you getting loud with me? That looks like some Mary Ja Wanna to me. I said that is going with me.

Beanpie: You can smell them for yourself, it’s just tea. I would not be selling weed and bagging it up outside of my house. I am a business man, and this my tea. I am selling tea, not weed.

Officer, I see that you know the street term, and you look like a drug dealerto me. What’s your name?

Beanpie: Randolph Ethelwood sir

Officer: Well that sounds like a drug dealers name also, now give those illegal leaves.

Beanpie: I told you this is just…….

*Officer sprays Beanpie with mace.

Beanpie(Screams in a high pitch voice): Ahhhh….what’re you doing? I didn’t do anything

Officer: This is coming with me.

Scene 6: Beanpie is in the bathroom scrubbing his face when he looks in the mirror

Beanpie(to self): Why does this keep happening to me? I try to get my shams moving, but something outrageous happens every time. I can’t explain this one to Lisa or Ice Juicy. They’ll never believe me. Oh well, I just have to come up with another plan. This time I will not fail!

Beanpie: Volume 2 Episode 1 Tea Time

Beanpie: Volume 2 Episode 1 Tea Time

Beanpie(to self): Today govy, I’m gonna make the ultimate tea party.....Beanpie will go down in history as the tea king. I’ve come too far and worked too hard to fail. Nothing can stop me this time.

*Beanpie in his room writing a recipe for tea while watching a local tv food show.

Beanpie (humming): Uh hm....uh hm....uh hm

Lisa: Babe, what are you doing this time?

Beanpie: I’m making a recipe for tea, this is an untapped gold mine here.

Lisa: It is not untapped, people make tea all over the world.

Beanpie: Trust me on this one.

Beanpie: I can do this Lis, I have the recipe, I am the manpower, and with Ice Juicy’s help I’ll take over the industry.

Lisa: He is so not gonna help you on this one.

Beanpie: He’s my main govy, he’s always down for his BP.

Lisa: Yeah right, just like the last time he helped you out.

Beanpie: Just a minor setback, this time he’s sure to help me out.

Lisa: Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

*Beanpie in the kitchen staring at fresh tea leaves he just received in the mail.

Beanpie(to self): Alright, what to do, what to do. I thought these would be dried and processed already.

*Enter Tailgate

Tailgate: What is this? Are you becoming a sissy gardener?

Beanpie: Shut up stupid monkey, you have no idea of what I’m doing.

Tailgate: Well why don’t you tell me grass fairy.

*Beanpie slaps Tailgate on top of the head.

Beanpie: This govy is my ticket to wealth, Behold the tea leaves.

Tailgate: Oh, you’re not the garden fairy, you’re a tea fairy. That’s so gay.

Beanpie: Whatever you ape faced arachnid, when I get rich, I’ll put you on display at the local freak show.

*Tailgate gives Beanpie a low blow and runs away

Tailgate: See ya queen of the tea leaves.

Beanpie(shouts): Wait’ll I get you, you’re gonna regret that shot.

*Beanpie stares once again at the leaves scratching head trying to figure out a way to dry the leaves out

*Beanpie looks around the kitchen, stops at the microwave

Beanpie(to self): That should dry the leaves right out mate.

*Beanpie is outside on his back porch thinking of a way to package his tea. He then sees Ice Juicy

Beanpie: Yo, Ice Juicy, what’s the deal govy?

Shaun: My name is Shaun.

Beanpie I’ve got a question for you mate.

Shaun (sighs): Shoot.

Beanpie: Well, I have a new sham.

Shaun: Wow, that’s a surprise.

Beanpie: Wait, let me finish. I have an idea on how to reach an untapped market. I am going to sell tea.

Shaun: You’re selling tea?

Beanpie: Yes, and it’s all natural. I just finished drying the leaves and now I need to package it.

Shaun: Are you serious?

Beanpie: Yes I am

Shaun (laughing): Yo, this is NOT England. We don’t have tea and biscuits here. You were better off with that soap idea. Whatever happened with that?

Beanpie: These two hooligans took all of my soap.

Shaun: You got jumped by some kids and they took your soap?

Beanpie: Well, one kicked me in the shin, and the other poked me in the eyes. Then they grabbed my soap and ran.

Shaun: So you expect me to believe two kids, beat you, no poked you and then robbed you, for soap nonetheless. Yeah right. Just admit that your idea to sell soap was not a good one.

Beanpie: I’m telling you mate, that is the truth. I was robbed.

Shaun: Whatever, what did you want to ask me?

Beanpie: Oh yeah, well I was looking for suggestions on how I should package my tea.

Shaun: Man I am the wrong one to ask. I just deliver the mail and keep it movin. Just get some plastic bags and bag it up. That’s what I suggest.

Beanpie: That sounds like a plan. Thanks govy, you have truly earned the name Ice Juicy.

Shaun: My name is Shaun.