Beanpie - Volume 8 Episode 2: The Warehouse

Scene 4: It is later that evening and Beanpie and Tailgate are getting ready to go to the warehouse. Beanpie walks into Tailgate’s room to see if he is ready.

Beanpie: Are you ready to go yet?
Tailgate: Hold on, I need to put one more thing on.

*Tailgate puts on a ski mask

Beanpie: What do you need that for?
Tailgate: They might have cameras there.
Beanpie: Man, are you serious? Didn’t you say it was an old rundown warehouse?
Tailgate: And?
Beanpie: And there will NOT be any cameras there.
Tailgate: Whatever, I’d rather be safe than sorry.
Beanpie: Man you watch too many movies.
Tailgate: And you come up with too many stupid ideas.
Beanpie: Are we gonna sit here and argue all night or are we going to head to the warehouse?
Tailgate: I’m ready, let’s take your car…..oh yeah I forgot you’re on foot patrol. Let’s go.

Scene 5: Tailgate and Beanpie are outside of the warehouse looking around.

Tailgate: Do you see anything?
Beanpie: Nope, the coast is clear.
Tailgate: Let’s get closer.

*Beanpie and Tailgate are looking through the windows to see if anyone is inside.

Tailgate: I don’t see anyone in there, how about you?
Beanpie: No brov, nobody is in there. Let’s go in.

*Beanpie crawls through an open window, only to fall on the floor.

Beanpie: Tailgate, where are you?

*Beanpie hears the door open and watches someone walk in, and in a panic he throws his shoe at him.

Tailgate: OUCH! Man, are you crazy?
Beanpie: Sorry, I thought you were someone else. How did you get in through the door? It was locked I checked.
Tailgate: Didn’t I tell you I saw Darius go inside the box and get the key?
Beanpie: Oh yeah, I guess it slipped my mind.
Tailgate: Whatever, put your flat back on and let’s look around.

*As they look around Beanpie notices all of his stuff boxed and stacked in a corner.

Beanpie: Tailgate, get over here and check this out.
Tailgate: That’s all of your stuff. Who the hell wants that?
Beanpie: We have to find a way to get this out of here before they try to sell my stuff.
Tailgate: When did they say they were going to sell it?
Beanpie: Thursday, so we will have to come back tomorrow and take it.
Tailgate: Yea we need a truck and a few more people too.
Beanpie: Let’s get out of here before someone comes.

Scene 6: Beanpie and Tailgate are back at home in Beanpie’s room

Tailgate: So how are you going to get the stuff back before Thursday?
Beanpie: I am going to call Ice Juicy, and see if he’ll help me.
Tailgate: But you’re gonna need a truck.
Beanpie: You’re right, I’ll have Lisa rent one for me.
Tailgate: Do you think she’ll do it?
Beanpie: I hope so. Do you think Jamie will come out there with us? The more hands the faster we can get in and out of there.
Tailgate: He should be able to do it.
Beanpie: Alright, so that’s what we’ll do.

*Beanpie calls Shaun, and Lisa and explains everything. Shaun agrees to come with him, and Lisa agrees to rent the truck.

Beanpie (to self): I can’t believe it. I found my stuff, and now I am gonna get it all back. Beanpie, you are back in business.

Beanpie - Volume 8 Episode 1: The Warehouse

Beanpie - Volume 8 Episode 1: The Warehouse

Opening Scene: Beanpie is having breakfast and getting prepared to investigate the warehouse in order to stop his products from being used by others when Tailgate comes into the kitchen.

Tailgate: Hey, so what are you planning to do about your stuff being stolen?

Beanpie: Well first off brov, I need to check the warehouse. I am pretty sure that the stuff that they nicked from me is in there. I am gonna go tonight.

Tailgate: Good luck with that one.

Beanpie: Will you come and check it out with me?

Tailgate: No, I am not going to some dark warehouse in the middle of the night to check on some stolen goods. I already did one super spy job for you. I have more important things to do, like nothing.

Beanpie: C’mon brov, I know you want to know who stole this stuff from me, and I also know that you can’t stand that fruitbat Darius either. Just come with me tonight and check it out.

Tailgate: I swear, you are lucky I’m your brother, or else I wouldn’t even think about doing something this retarded. What time are you going?

Beanpie: I will be heading out there at about 9 tonight.

Tailgate: Alright, I’ll go.

Scene 2: Beanpie goes to have lunch with Lisa at a restaurant close to her job.

Lisa: Hey Randolph, why do you look so serious today?

Beanpie: Lis, I am gonna head to that warehouse tonight.

Lisa: What?!

Beanpie: Yeah, me and Tailgate are going to check things out. I have to find out if my stuff is there.

Lisa: Okay it was one thing to find out what was going on, but now you’re going to go there, with your little brother nonetheless, just to see if your stuff is there?

Beanpie: Yes love, I have to find out what is in that warehouse. You heard what Tailgate said, the same guy that went there was taking pictures of the basement.

Lisa: You don’t even know who is behind all of this, and if you happen to find your stuff there, what are you going to do about it?

Beanpie: I’ll figure that part out once I see what is inside of the warehouse.

Lisa: I am strongly urging you not to go there. Just quit this hustle business and get a normal job.

Beanpie: I work for myself. No man has me on their books.

Lisa: Books? You want to talk about books? When was the last time you checked your books?

Beanpie: Love I know where you’re going, but my books will take care of themselves once I blow up.

Lisa: Man, you are so far in the red tat the economy feels sorry for you.

Beanpie: Now don’t say that.

Lisa: It has to be said, I mean seriously you have some climbing to do to reach rock bottom.

Beanpie: I know love, but trust me. Have faith in your man.

Lisa: I have faith in him, just not his ideas.

Beanpie: Just watch what happens once I find out who did this to me. So, can I still get that $20 from you?

Lisa: See what I mean. Here, and will you at least consider getting a real job?

Beanpie: Thanks Lis, and you know I love you babe.

*Beanpie takes the money and begins to walk home.

Scene 3: Beanpie is walking home, and runs into Shaun who is on his lunch break.

Beanpie: Hey Ice Juicy, what’s up man? You’re looking a little down today.

Shaun: It’s nothing

Beanpie: C’mon mate, use that toilet paper t-shirt and get the crap off of your chest.

Shaun: Well, you know when you had me go to the store and talk to my friend?

Beanpie: Yeah

Shaun: Well, I called her and we talked for a while. I found out because of what she said, she lost her job.

Beanpie: Really?

Shaun: Not only that, but she will lose her apartment also and she has to find another one.

Beanpie: Sorry to hear that mate.

Shaun: Well I want to ask her to stay with me for a while. I feel responsible for that.

Beanpie: Well good on ya mate. Go for it, I’m sure she’ll be happy.

Shaun: Thanks man.

Beanpie: No problem.

Shaun: Wait, did you say, “use that toilet paper t-shirt and get the crap off of your chest”?

Beanpie: Sure did, made it up here on the spot.

Shaun: That has to be the corniest line I ever heard. I suggest you keep that to yourself.

Beanpie: C’mon govy, I know you like that one. And you know what? You can use it whenever you like.

Shaun: Whatever man. Take it easy.

Beanpie: You too.

Shaun: Oh and Beanpie, my name is Shaun.

*Shaun goes back to work, and Beanpie heads home.

Beanpie - Volume 7 Episode 2: Operation: Beanpie

Beanpie - Volume 7 Episode 2: Operation: Beanpie

Lisa (to self): I don’t know why I even agreed to this nonsense, and now I have to figure out a way to talk to some clerk named Charlene about some stolen bootlegged inventions. I should have stayed in bed today. I need a smoke.

*Lisa stands outside of the store. She gets a cigarette and now she can’t seem to find her lighter.

Lisa: Excuse me do you have a light?

Woman: Yeah, here you go. You looked stressed, are you alright?

Lisa: I can’t believe this nonsense. My boyfriend has me out here to spy on some clerk named Charlene. I am supposed to find out if she knows anything about his ideas that have been stolen from him.

Woman: Well, I heard the owner of this place is shady, and just got a new line of items coming in.

Lisa: Oh yeah? Like what?

Woman: Well, I think there is dog food, dish detergent, car wax, and tea.

Lisa: Are you serious? Where did you get this info?

Woman: I know a few people in here and they can’t keep their mouths closed.

Lisa: Thanks you just saved me a trip inside. Here’s your lighter back.

Woman: Have a good one.

*Lisa gets back into her car and heads back home.

Scene 4: It’s Monday and Shaun is out and about delivering mail. He gets to the store and goes up to see his friend.

Shaun: Hey Iris, how are things?

Iris: Hey papi, how are you today?

Shaun: I’m cool, another day another dollar. You know how it is.

Iris: Aye, except you get to be outside where it’s nice, and I’m stuck in here wit Senor Stupido y amigos. What do you have for me today?

Shaun: The usual, bills, bills, and someone trying to sell you stuff.

Iris: Things never change I tell you. I wish I could get out of here papi, I hate this job.

Shaun: I know, can I ask you something?

Iris: Si papi, what is it?

Shaun: Well have you noticed anything dirty happening here?

Iris: Ha, everything about this store is dirty. The owner doesn’t know any other way. He stole this new line of products he is having shipped here on Thursday.

Shaun: Do you know where he got this new line of products from?

Iris: Papi, lemme tell you something. I never stick my nose where it don’t belong. I just answer the phones and handle the books.

Shaun: That’s cool. Good look Iris. See you tomorrow.

Iris: You could see me tonight if you called.

Scene 5: It’s Monday night, and Beanpie is in his room dealing with all of the information he has.

Beanpie (to self): Okay what do I have to work with? First off some pisser has been taking pictures of me, which means someone has been spying on me. Not only that, but the guy that robbed me is paying the bloke off. Secondly, they have a bloody new line of products coming in that just so happen to contain every single thing that I’ve made. And I guess on Thursday this new line is supposed to hit the store. I need to find a way to stop it from getting there. What to do, what to do? Oh yeah, Tailgate did say something about an old store house. Maybe I should go check it out.

Beanpie: Volume 7 Episode 1 - Operation: Beanpie

Beanpie: Volume 7 Episode 1 - Operation: Beanpie

*It is Friday night, and Beanpie is in his kitchen with Lisa, Shaun, Tailgate, and Jamie. They are all sitting around waiting for the details of his plan.

Beanpie: Okay, once again mates I thank you for coming here. I know you know why we’re here and now I’ll tell you the plan. First, Ice Juicy you deliver to the store right?

Shaun: Man, my name is Shaun. Yes I deliver there, what do you need me to do?

Beanpie: Do you know anyone there?

Shaun: Yeah, I went to school with the assistant manager. I talk to her whenever I go there.

Beanpie: Ask her if she knows about any new products they’ve been getting in. Also ask if she knows about the new guy there.

Shaun: She should be willing to talk, she hates it there anyway. I should be able to talk with her on Monday. Is that all you need me to do?

Beanpie: Yeah that should be good for now. Now on to you Tailgate. Can you and Jamie keep an eye on that guy Gary? See where he lives and that good stuff.

Tailgate: You want us to follow a grown man around like super spies?

Jamie: Man that sounds like a kind of stalking I want no part of.

Tailgate: Are you serious? This has to be the most retarded thing I’ve heard of.

Beanpie: You must not have heard of your birth. You were two genes short of being diagnosed with down syndrome.

Tailgate: See this is why I didn’t want to work with you. You make the corniest jokes up and I don’t even know if they make sense, call yourself embarrassing me, and then want me to help you.

Jamie: Yeah man, you can come up with some good ideas, but when it comes to hurting someone’s feelings, you are pathetic.

Beanpie: Is that right? Do I smell a challenge?

Tailgate: That would be an unfair challenge, but since you’re willing to get embarrassed for this I guess we’ll watch him for a bit.

Beanpie: Alright then. Now Lisa, what I need you to do is get some info on a girl that works down at the store. Her name is Charlene.

Lisa: You want me to investigate some chick at the store?

Beanpie: She knew about my ideas too, and she works there at the store. Everyone in there is a suspect.

Lisa: Alright, but if she has any issues, there will be an ugly scene inside of the store.

Shaun: Wait, we all have our parts in this, but where are you?

Beanpie: I have to proceed as normal. I have an idea for a new sham govy.

Tailgate: Oh boy, what is it now?

Beanpie: Well you know how I had that fake gardening product right?

Tailgate: It wasn’t fake they got away with more of his stuff.

Beanpie: Whatever. Well, I did some research and I found a way to make some organic fertilizer.

Tailgate: Yeah, take a dump in someone’s lawn!!!

Beanpie: Shut up piglet, this is how we’ll proceed for the time being.

Scene 2: It’s Saturday Tailgate and Jamie are hanging around the basketball court looking for Gary.

Tailgate: You sure you know what this guy looks like?

Jamie: Yeah my brother pointed him out to me this morning. He’ll be hard to miss because he’s a big Lurch lookin dude with a HUGE head.

Tailgate: Aw man, here we go look who’s headed this way. The Swagtastic Darius and his No Homo Boys.

Jamie: This is not what we need right now. Wait a minute, he’s headed to the store.

Tailgate: Yeah now he’s just sitting in front of it. Is this his new spot?

Jamie: Yeah earning extra cash by carrying bags. Hey, there’s Lurch.

Tailgate: He’s walking up to Darius, and giving him money. What is going on?

Jamie: Wait, he’s going somewhere, let’s follow him.

*Jamie and Tailgate follow Darius and are led to an out of the way store house not too far from the store.

Jamie: What do you think he’s doing here? I’m not sure, but it looks like he’s getting a key from that rusty box near the entrance. Let’s go in.

Tailgate: Wait, I think we should see if they come out with anything first.

*A few minutes pass, and Darius comes back out.

Tailgate: Man, he doesn’t have anything.

Jamie: He’s headed somewhere else. Let’s see where goes.

*They now follow Darius to a surprising location.

Tailgate: This is my house!!!

Jamie: Wait, let’s see what he does

*They watch as Darius looks into the basement window, and takes a few pictures, then leaves.

Tailgate: I can’t believe this dirty gorilla is watching my brother. I am going to settle this right now!!

Jamie: Let’s go talk to your brother first, and see if he comes up with anything. It’s not like Darius is going anywhere, we know where he lives.

Tailgate: Alright, but if he doesn’t deal with him, I definitely will.

Beanpie - Volume 6 Episode 2: Putting it all together

Beanpie - Volume 6 Episode 2: Putting it all together

*Scene 4: Beanpie is back in his kitchen holding the piece of cloth when Tailgate and Jamie come back home.

Beanpie: Hey Jamie, how did you know this came from an apron from the store?

Jamie: My big brother works there, I have seen that thing for years.

Beanpie: Hey Jamie, is your brother at work now?

Jamie: No, he’s off today

Beanpie: Do you have his number? I want to ask him a few things

Jamie: Sure it’s 555-7282. His name is Tony.

Tailgate: Why don’t you hit on a guy your age and leave my friends alone?

Beanpie: Shutup you undersized gorilla, can’t you see I’m conducting an investigation?

Tailgate: Looks to me like you’re trying to come out of the closet. C’mon Jamie, let’s go play that new Call of Duty

*Tailgate and Jamie leave and Beanpie calls Tony

Tony: Hello

Beanpie: Hey, is this Tony?

Tony: Who’s this?

Beanpie: This is Beanpie, Tailgate’s brother

Tony: Oh, you mean that smart ass that comes over here.

Beanpie: Yup, that’s him mate

Tony: What’s up with that accent? It sounds fake to me

Beanpie: That’s my natural accent govy. Do you work at the corner market?

Tony: Yeah, why?

Beanpie: I want to know if you can do me a favor.

Tony: What do you need?

Beanpie: I need a name. There is a guy there with a ripped vest, can you get me his name?

Tony: Will you promise to stop calling me?

Beanpie: Sure.

Tony: Okay, I go in tomorrow, so I should be able to tell you who it is.

Beanpie: Thanks mate.

Scene 5: Beanpie is in his room with the cloth in his hand waiting, and his phone rings

Tony: Is this Beanpie?

Beanpie: Hey Tony, what’s the outcome?

Tony: It is a new guy here, his name is Gary. He’s only been here for a few weeks. I think he’s the owner’s nephew.

Beanpie: Thanks mate

Tony: Now don’t call me anymore

Beanpie: You won’t hear from me again.

Beanpie(to self): Now I need to find out who this bloke is and why he came to rob me. First I need a plan, and an able crew to help me solve the mystery.

Scene 6: Beanpie is in his kitchen sitting at the table with Tailgate, Lisa, Shaun, and Jamie.

Tailgate: Why did you call us here and what are you smoking that stupid pipe? Beanpie; The reason I called you here, let’s see….I wanted to ask you all to help me find out who keeps stealing my ideas and why they’re doing it.

Shaun: Whoa…..what makes you think we’ll help you?

Beanpie: Well, I can’t do it by myself, and I have a plan to find out exactly who is behind this whole thing.

Lisa: Maybe it’s just a sign that you need to get a job.

Beanpie: Listen guys, I know none of you believed I was getting robbed, but Tailgate and I set a trap a couple of days ago, and someone broke into the basement and stole my idea. I laid the trap, and I have found out who it was. Now, all I need is your help, and we can catch this guy. Tailgate: Now we all know I am normally against retarded ideas, especially when they come out of my brother’s mouth, but I was there, and saw what happened. At the very least I want to see the idiot that actually did this.

Lisa: I can help a bit, but remember I do have a job to go to.

Shaun: Well, I did like the car polish, so you can count me in.

Jamie: I guess I’ll help too, I have nothing else to do.

Beanpie: Great. I just need you all to be here on Friday night. That’s when I’ll have the details for you.

Tailgate: Why do we have to wait until Friday?

Beanpie: Because, that’s when the bloody plan will happen.

Shaun: You don’t have a plan do you?

Beanpie: Not fully, but it’ll be ready on Friday.

Shaun (Laughing): Whatever man, I’ll be here.

Lisa: Let the fun begin

Beanpie - Volume 6 Episode 1: Putting it all together

Beanpie - Volume 6 Episode 1: Putting it all together

*Opening Scene: Beanpie is on his front porch holding the piece of cloth when Jamie (Tailgates homeboy) comes by.

Jamie: Is Tailgate home?

Beanpie: He’s inside playing in the toilet again

Jamie: What’s that?

Beanpie: It’s a piece of cloth someone lost yesterday. It ripped off of someone last night, and I found it in my basement.

Jamie: It looks like a piece of an apron from the store around the corner.

*Beanpie looks closely at the cloth

Beanpie: You’re right it does.

Tailgate: Hey Detective Have-No-Clue, how’s the case going?

Beanpie: I think I just may know where to go next.

*Scene 2: Beanpie is on his way to the store and is thinking about how to go about finding the person that came into his basement.

Beanpie(to self): I have to find out who did this. I know it was someone from the store. Could it have been Charlene? I don’t think so, she always helps me, and wants me to blow up.

*Along comes Shaun walking his daily route

Shaun: So how is the newest gardening invention holding up?

Beanpie: It got stolen last night.

Shaun: Really? How many times is this now?

Beanpie: Too many to count govy. I think I know who is behind all of this. Once I find out, I’ll let you know.

Shaun: Alright, it sounds like you’re an undercover cop. That’s hilarious.

*Scene 3: Beanpie walks into the store, and looks around. Then he is approached by Charlene.

Charlene: So, how’d it go last night?

Beanpie: Not so well, they made off with all of my newest inventions

Charlene: Really? I thought you had a master plan.

Beanpie: Whoever it was got in and out before the solution became sticky.

Charlene: Are you going to try something else?

Beanpie: No, I have a clue. I think I know where the person is. Would you mind letting me see your vest?

Charlene: Sure, why not.

*She takes it off, and Beanpie looks at it, it is in perfect shape.

Beanpie: How many of these do you have?

Charlene: I only have one. This cheap store only gives one to each employee.

Beanpie: Alright thanks for the info. I have to get back home and check on some things

Charlene: You mean you’re not working on anything new to hustle?

Beanpie: Not until I find out who is behind this.

*Beanpie heads to the front door when another clerk from the store bumps him on the way out

Clerk: Sorry about that

Beanpie: No worries mate

*Beanpie notices that the clerk’s vest is missing a piece. He makes a mental note and then leaves.

Beanpie - Volume 5 Episode 2: A Better Mouse Trap

Beanpie - Volume 5 Episode 2: A Better Mouse Trap

*Scene 4 Beanpie is at the store getting a bunch of phony supplies when the clerk Charlene comes up to talk to him

Charlene: Hey bootleg businessman. Did you blow up yet?

Beanpie: No, some bull happened again, but I have a plan this time.

Charlene: Oh yeah, and what might that be?

Beanpie: See, I keep getting robbed. I’m gonna set up a trap. I’m telling everyone that I’m making a gardening product, and storing it in my basement. In reality I am setting up a trap in the basement with my new invention.

Charlene: So, this new product is fake?

Beanpie: Oh no, this stuff really works. It will be staying with me this time.

Charlene: What kind of trap will be in the basement?

Beanpie: I am actually going to make a very sticky solvent that will activate once the door opens. It takes about a minute to get sticky, so the thief will get in pretty far, but won’t get out.

Charlene: You have it all worked out. Tomorrow be sure to come back and let me know who it is.

Beanpie: Will do love, see ya.

* Scene 5: Beanpie and Tailgate are in the basement setting this trap up

Tailgate: Are you sure we won’t get stuck on this glue?

Beanpie: We won’t, it will activate once the door opens. The difference in humidity will make it sticky.

Tailgate: Alright, I just want to see who the genius is that actually takes time out of his day to steal your stupidity.

Beanpie: Anyone can see that I come up with the best inventions.

Tailgate: Let’s just hurry up, I’m starting to get light headed. These fumes are too much.

Beanpie: (Laughs) With a head that size you should never be light headed.

Tailgate: Shutup and hurry.

*Beanpie and Tailgate finish putting the solution on the floor

Beanpie: Okay, now we need to leave the door unlocked, so whoever it is will be able to get in.

Tailgate: So, how sticky does this stuff get?

Beanpie: This is like krazy glue on steroids.

Tailgate: This better work, I have a serious headache from putting it down.

Beanpie: Let’s get out of here.

*Beanpie and Tailgate go upstairs and head to their rooms

*Scene 6: Beanpie is in his room waiting for something to happen when he hears a bunch of rustling in his basement. He heads downstairs to see what’s going on. He sees that everything is gone, and no sign of anyone. Then Tailgate comes down

Beanpie: They got everything

Tailgate: I thought this stuff was supposed to hold whoever came.

Beanpie: It was, they must’ve gotten in and out before it had a chance to get sticky

Tailgate: Ahhhh, you idiot. How do you manage to hand someone your newest invention? You are an A Class idiot.

Beanpie: I don’t need this right now mate, I have to look around and see if anything was left behind

Tailgate: Well I’m going back to bed to try and sleep this headache off.

*Beanpie walks around the basement looking at everything that was turned upside down and searches the area where his product was staged. He then goes to the door, and notice a piece of cloth that was stuck to the handle.

Beanpie: Whoever it was left a piece of their shirt.

*Scene 7: Beanpie is at kitchen table with the piece of cloth in hand.

Beanpie(to self): I have to figure out who took this. I have this to go by. I can’t concentrate on anything new until I catch whoever it is behind this. It just doesn’t make sense, who can it be?